[Egoraptor:] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Egoraptor, Ninja Sex Party GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! SMELL MY BALLS! Yo, what up, bitch? I'mma tell you a tale 'Bout how Ash Ketchum got his ass sent to jail Beat the Elite Four, won the tournament war But he just couldn't get the same rush as before Fat and depressed, his life had gone south So he turned to Pikachu and then he punched him in the Meowth He felt so alive! He felt so real! He beat all his Pokemon with his fists of Registeel He got arrested for domestic violence It was a crazy motherfuckin' Cacturne of events He said that Pika's bruises happened on the stairs when he fell The cops said "GRANBULL SHIT!" and threw that bitch in a cell [Danny Sexbang:] Rock on! This is a fucked up tale of Pokemon gone wrong Gone wrong That's right! This shit is tight when Egoraptor's at the mic Bitch [Egoraptor:] Ash was in trouble as soon as he arrived He Magnemite not make it out of prison alive His lawyer ran in with a big state trooper Bringing fiery news, like Charmanderson Cooper It's your lucky day, Pika posted your bail So Ash found his little friend outside of the jail But Pikachu was different, he had mentally snapped Ash was Chandelure'd into his deadly trap Pika pulled out a gun, and he said with a cry "Suck a yellow dick, bro! I CHOOSE YOU TO DIE!" "Don't do it!" Yelled Ash, "You know I got your back!" But Pika pulled the trigger, shot him twice in the sack [Danny:] Holy fuck! I don't know if you've been shot in the nuts! Spoiler: It sucks And oh Squirtle, gotta catch 'em all, but they might just ruin your balls And poor Misty, again and a-Gengar she'll have Gastly screams that Haunter dreams But you'll want more, and if you don't we'll beat your ass 'till it's Bulbasaur [Ego:] YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Pokemon.

[Luigi Sexbang:] Princess Peach, won't you listen to my speech I don't have any stars of invincibility But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me I'm your Luigi [Marioraptor:] What up, bitch?! I got a 1UP, bitch! What's inside that Question Block? It's my dick! It's-a-me a-Mario I'm more Italian than pastrami I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami I saved you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky Must I be a raccoon to get inside your Tanuki? I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen My mushroom's now mega if you know what I mean So suck it! [Luigi:] Mario, you always do this shit I like a girl and you ruin it By yelling stuff about your dick Until they go away [Peach Bloom:] Hey, Luigi, it's okay That Mario's a bit risqué Just tell me what you need to say Please don't be afraid! [Luigi:] Oh, Princess! It means so much for me to hear you say that. The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that- GOD DAMN IT [Mario:] I'm here to pleasure that ass! I'd like to go first, Princess, but I always come last And you say we'll get together but I'm jackin' off alone Koopa Troopa skeletons aren't the only Dry Bones! I am tired of your run-around it's such a fuckin' hassle I go through shit and then you're in another fuckin' castle You gotta think about it? Well I don't believe the hype You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smokin' on my Warp Pipe! [Peach:] Oh Em Gee! I can't decide on which of you should be the guy To take me on a moustache ride that'll redefine my life [Luigi + Peach:] I'm ready to give love a shot It's not about how many coins you got I just know I like you a lot [Mario:] Yo sluts! Check out my yacht! [Luigi:] Ugh! [Luigi:] Let me take you on a magic kart ride [Mario:] I'll bust all yo' balloons when I smack your backside [Luigi:] We'll have some fun, I'll bring my friends along [Mario:] I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong [Mario:] Come on, Peach! It's time to make your choice! I'm the only plumber that can make your boobies rejoice Green lanky-ass brother ain't got shit on me It's time to live out our story of the Princess and the pea (nis!) [Mario:] So! Who's it gonna be, Princess? [Peach:] I choose... Toad! [Mario + Luigi:] TOAD?! [Peach:] Well his whole body's shaped like a dick. [Mario:] Ohhhh, mhm, yeah, definitely. [Luigi:] Oh, yeah, okay, mushrooms look like dicks, yeah-huh.

[Ego of Time:] Hey Hey Alright Yeah Aww yeah My name is Link, y'all, I'm straight outta Hyrule Been on the force o' good since 1986, old school I'm bringin' you a laid-back summertime jam [Old Man Sexbang:] Hold on a minute Link! [Link:] Hey, what's up old man? [Old Man:] I see that you're embarkin' on another epic quest You're gonna use your ocarina to rescue the princess But you'll need a magic weapon that'll never ever miss It's dangerous to go alone, take this [Link:] Oh, thanks Old Man, that is really very nice I can always count on you for helpful, friendly advice Though I've never seen a sword of quite that shape or size Oh god, that's not a sword! It's your dick in disguise [Old Man:] Yes, I can't lie, I have painted my schween Now grab your destiny if you know what I mean Wait a minute Link, don't leave the cave, where do you think you're going? This is a great chance to fondle a scrotum that you're blowing [Link:] That. Was. Weird, but whatever there is no time to lose I gotta warp on outta Zelda in this chilled out groove Wait, this isn't Ganon's lair, I'm in Liberty City This place looks just like Philadelphia but even more shitty I'm at the corner of Dead Cop and Prostitute Junction Something in my Ocarina must have gone and malfunctioned I gotta fix it quickly there is justice to do [Old Man:] Hold on a minute Link! [Link:] Old Man, is that you? [Old Man:] This is a place you can't survive with just your sword and your wits It's dangerous to go alone, take this [Link:] Well that's really kind o- D'aaah! That's your wrinkled dick again Look, I know I wear a tunic but I'm not into men [Old Man:] Don't be that way bitch let me introduce you To my three best friends Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew If you see the Princess Zelda, well you know you're gonna grab her So why don't you try to come grab my inflatable poo jabber [Link:] OH MY GOD! I gotta warp outta here, Princess Zelda awaits I must defeat Ganondorf before it gets too late Okay, now I really don't know where I am [Old Man:] Hold on a minute Link! [Link:] God DAMN it, Old Man! [Old Man:] You're in Raccoon City, it's a zombie abyss It's dangerous to go alone, take- [Link:] NO! Fuck you! Fuck you, I'm not giving you a- Not touching your we- Stop the chilled out groove! Jeez! You come in here telling me you got a weewee weapon It's not cool, I'm not gonna touch it, I'm not gonna splllllNO! [Old Man:] So is that a "No" on the handjob or...? Okay.

[Spoken:] [Wily (Danny Sexbang):] Hello, Mega Man. And Mrs. Mega Man. Welcome to couples' therapy. I'm Dr. Wily. [Mega Man (Egoraptor):] Dr. Wily? You're a therapist now? But you're evil, and bent on world domination! [Wily:] Not anymore. Those days are behind me. Don't question it! Shut up. Just tell me the problem over this hot beat. [Mega Man:] Okay... [Music] [Mega Man:] Well you see, Doc, I got a pretty nice life A Mega House with two kids, and a hot Mega Wife But I got a little problem with my android bride When it comes to making love, she's never satisfied [Mrs. Mega (Danny):] We've been fucking for decades! Sex has gotten routine! We gotta spice that shit up, I'm not a total machine! I'm sick of all the romance, and the cuddles, and the love It's time to get dirty and do all the weird stuff! [Wily:] It would be seeming to me that the problem here Is you don't listen to your wife, she is being clear [Mega Man:] But she says the same thing, like a tape recorder! [Wily:] Quiet! The doctor is talking -- there must be ORDER! ...Sorry, I'm not evil anymore. You must beat the Robot Masters to acquire skills And then use them on your wife when she is getting drilled Maybe she likes shocks from Elec Man's beam Or getting burnt by fireballs; she's a freaky man's dream [Mega Man:] Is that what you want, hon? A Robot Master? [Mrs. Mega:] Get out and do it, you stupid bastard! [Wily:] Your marriage will be healthy like pure springwater Now leave my office before you are SLAUGHTERED! [Mega Man:] Fine, I'll kick ass if it saves my marriage For the satisfaction of my lady's undercarriage First I'll take on Fire Man, not much of a test Oh, your weakness is ice? I woulda never fucking guessed. Now Ice Man is here, this shouldn't take up too much time Oh, is your weakness fire? You just blew my fucking mind. I cut Cut Man and he's gonna need stitches Bomb and Elec Man just went down like little bitches [Zero (Danny):] Wait, you douchebag, I'm gonna end your life I am Mega Man Zero, and I'm here to plow your wife I bring sex moves from the future, and my skills are vast Like my super double ultra mega nutbuster cumblast (Oh!) Women can't resist my blonde flowing locks I'll slap a stamp right on my package and deliver your wife the cock My shining armor is red, the color of victory While your fruity suit is blue, like your balls will soon be [Spoken:] [Zero:] Wait! What are you doing...? [Mega Man:] Mega Dick... ACTIVATE! [Music] [Wily:] So Mega Man harnessed all the powers of the Masters And killed Zero with his mega laser schlong-blaster And then he banged his wife until she screamed "Yes! More!" Then she loved him again, 'cause she's a SHALLOW WHORE [Spoken:] [Wily:] Sorry, that was misogynistic. She is a whore, though. [Mega Man:] What did you say?! [Wily:] Nothing! ...Douche.

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